Getting fat? Must be all the sex.

Wednesday, December 7, 2005

I came for class this morning, late as usual. I don’t even bother coming for lectures on time anymore. Everyone else is late and you’re not allowed to write your names in the exam answer scripts so what’s the whole point of sucking it up to the lecturer? Manners, I suppose. For participation points, most likely.

G asked me if I think she looks different. ‘I think I’m becoming fat’, she says. ‘Must be all the sex’, I thought and wanted to say. I dared myself to say it to her face. Wondered if she would get offended or agree with me. But of course I didn’t, instead I say, ‘Maybe it’s all the pigging out and lack of exercise.’

Things are so different now in university. I wouldn’t have imagined myself hanging out with a bunch of super (and sometimes, overly) open-minded bunch. Yeah, everyone can say they’re open-minded, but to know intimate details of their sex lives? ‘Oh please spare my virgin ears!’ I would scream inside. ‘I have to fucking look at you guys everyday. Now, I can’t look at you and not picture you guys in the missionary position or worse, doing it doggie style.’ It’s hard to tell yourself not to think about something. Try not thinking about a pink penis. See what I mean?

In high school, I hung out with a bunch of girls (I still call them my best girlfriends) whom I think are the most ‘holy’ and would remain virgins until their wedding nights. Although, I don’t know now really, I haven’t been in contact with them for months. Partly because I feel so distant from them and afraid that if I start talking about the awful truth, politics, current affairs, sex and what-nots (shit my uni buddies and I talk about), they would label me as a ‘changed’ chica. But talking about boys, girly stuff, high school gossip, who’s dating who and other high school stuff bores me to the core. It used to get high and giggly but now, it feels likes something so ordinary, so mundane. So boring. Yeah they are my high school buddies but we seriously can’t be stuck talking about high school stuff every God forsaken time we meet up. That’s old news people! We’ve graduated from all that high school shit!!