The Homesick Pinay does drama for a change.

Friday, February 9, 2007

Just when I thought I'm over and done with my Politics, Economics, America and the Future module, I receive my March school schedule and guess what, my next module is nothing but Seminar in Comparative Politics and Public Policies. Great. Just great. I barely made it out of PEAF alive (sleepless nights trying to write an eight page paper on a book I absolutely had no idea what it was about) and now I'm being thrown into another lion's den. This time I'm sure I'm gonna be ripped apart.

I mean, come on, politics!? It doesn't interest me. Maybe if the professor was as hot as Tyson Ritter from The All American Rejects, I wouldn't be complaining as much AND will be motivated a tiny bit to come for class…. Not that I skipped any of my PEAF classes, I'm too much of a goody-two shoes to skip lectures. I admit, I did skip a few tutorials, but only because they aren't of any use, all we do is hang around class and bitch about each other….so much bitching during tutorials that when the torture finally ends, we are all just too drained and bored that we don't even hang out afterwards.

University is supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be the prime of your life. Seriously, I ain't feeling it. Although I am thankful that I have it easier than the rest of the uni students here in Singapore since I go to a private uni, I find my uni life pretty mundane and boring.

Lately everything is so boring. Ever since I resigned from my job and my lectures ended, I've been idling so much I don't even know what fucking day it is. I seem to be going into my depression mood again. I vaguely remember suffering from this a few months back in June/July. I lamented online to anyone who cared to listen - mainly Shereen and Clarence. So it's a curve, all the exciting and juicy stuff will happen all at once and then after all the hooha has died down, I will be left with a blank empty feeling. Like when you have friends over to party all night and you wake up the morning after with lots of cleaning up to do and then you think why the hell did you even bother to have them over when cleaning up is such a bitch.

My financial resources are drying up so fast I'm so afraid to go out of the house. I have even made the conscious effort to cut down on expenses, which means no dining in restaurants, no shopping and no nightouts. Yes, it is my fault I resigned without securing another job first, but I don't think I can stand working anymore. Its the boredom, it just kills me. You know, sometimes I wish most things are disposable, cuz I get tired of them so easily. I like to surprise people with stupid off-hand comments just to make things fun and also because the look on their faces gives me a happy. I do that so often I don't know when I'm kidding and when I'm actually serious about the things I say.

This could possibly be the side effects of reading angsty novels. Since I don't wanna spend money on new books, I raided my bookshelf of books which I haven't read. The only ones left are the angsty ones, so here I am reading The Bell Jar. I have a feeling I will finish this in three days and I will be reading Catcher in the Rye next. I mean I CAN go to the library to borrow books but being so forgetful nowadays I fear I might forget to return it and pay such a big fine that I might as well could have bought a new book.

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